Lyrics to 70s Song do It Again
Beloved songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.
Nothing adept can come of this. Photo past Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout human history, oceans accept been crossed, mountains take been scaled, and peachy families have blossomed — all considering of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other hand, that time you told that girl you just started seeing that y'all would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love song. And information technology wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and movement back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."
"Information technology's just, my mom. You know? And L.A. is so hot in the summertime. And yeah, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That time yous held that nail box over your caput outside your ex's house? You did that because of a beloved song. And 50 hours of community service later, you're withal not back together.
Dearest songs are great. They make our hearts beat out faster. They inspire the states to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give usa terrible, terrible ideas nigh how actual, real-life human relationships should work.
They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.
Here are six dearest songs that sound romantic but aren't, and i song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
1. "God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys
You lot can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Aid me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Embankment Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy tune. A necktie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the about heartrending lyrics e'er committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo past Hulton Annal/Getty Images.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
I may not always beloved you
But long as there are stars above y'all
You lot never demand to doubtfulness it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and non playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, yous should actually cease and showtime over.
If yous're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the dorsum of your heed, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.
If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Merely Knows," you are doing it wrong.
Hippies, probable on their fashion to a mud frolic. Photo by Colin Davey/Getty Images.
Information technology'due south a song that but feels like love. Pure love. Immature love. Love with a arctic, kelp-y vibe.
What could be incorrect with that?
Here'due south why it'southward actually really, really unromantic:
At that place'due south nothing incorrect with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-height notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the dorsum porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
Just there is such a thing every bit loving someone a skosh too much.
If you should e'er leave me
Though life would withal get on believe me
The world could testify nothing to me
So what proficient would living exercise me?
Look, I get information technology. Breakups suck. At that place's no getting around that. But good God.
There's a huge difference between proverb: "Hey babe, y'all are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, then I'm just gonna chug a agglomeration of nightshade and telephone call information technology a life."
Only that's pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...
God only knows what I'd be without y'all
...horror-picture creepy. Because the respond, plain, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. We had a skilful run. Photo via iStock.
That'southward not dearest. That'southward codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to impale yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Information technology's a form of emotional abuse.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — i that, by definition, might one solar day end — is putting a lot of eggs in 1 basket. Sure, God may merely know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Aye! Hell yes! What was her proper noun again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Assistants.
1 person cannot be anyone's be-all and finish-all. It'due south too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be done before y'all tin do anything else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
two. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars
Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've e'er heard. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and every bit tribute acts become, you lot could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Look at that face. That face! Photograph by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here's why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Beloved, you're my golden star
You know yous tin make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you allow me treasure you
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and yous'll likely become an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-boondocks (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date dark is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls yous over for running a cease sign, and they will remember you lot're weird — but probably nonetheless make out with you lot.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to brand out with America because of this vocal.
This is what happens when you lot write "Treasure" and you're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photo by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'chiliad OK with that.
But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:
Everything almost "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes about gender.
"Children, have I ever told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time nosotros met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things start to go south right from the very beginning:
Give me your, requite me your, give me your attention, infant
I gotta tell y'all a piffling something most yourself
Ah yes. Zero screams "respect" quite similar a man lecturing a foreign woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could information technology exist that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book about early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thanks for instruction me all almost Martin Luther's bible!" Photograph past Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.
Spoiler Warning: Information technology's none of those.
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But y'all walk effectually hither like y'all wanna be someone else
Oh. It's that she'due south sexy. Absurd, bro. Very original.
Discussion of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-24-hour interval so much that y'all, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).
So what if she does want to exist someone else? I'd love to exist someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would exist quite nice. A good way to spend a three-day weekend.
Certain, there'd be an adjustment flow... Photograph by Eamonn Chiliad. McCormack/Getty Images.
And then later, of class, the narrator tin can't help himself:
Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, yous should exist grinning
A daughter like you should never look so blue.
He respects her so much, he'south actually directly-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody'southward got a affair.
Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a good for you relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman beingness then totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex activity."
He so proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:
You lot are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, y'all, yous are
Y'all are my treasure, you are my treasure
Yous are my treasure, yeah, you, you lot, you, y'all are
Past this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not simply whatsoever thing.
GIF from "The 2 Towers."
That's ... something, right?
3. "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," by Bob Dylan
For equally long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Retrieve Twice" is a portrait of a human relationship going downward in flames. Glorious, poetic, audio-visual flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people similar. Photograph by William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby
Even you don't know past at present
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Expect out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'chiliad a-traveling on
But don't think twice, information technology's all right.
Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits state of affairs like whoa.
"Don't Recall Twice" is a raw vocal. An honest song. A powerful song. Information technology's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her swain left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a air current chime store in Mendocino. The vocal your friend's cool dad e'er wants to play when he invited your loftier school band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are yous looking for?" Photo past Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, it'due south about the end of a relationship, simply it sounds romantic. And at the terminate of the twenty-four hours, shouldn't that exist plenty?
Here's why it'south actually sooooo messed up:
Relationships cease. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right manner to call information technology quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties tin can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion nearly what went wrong.
Information technology's not me, Joan. Information technology'southward you. 100% you lot. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Think Twice," that word basically boils downwards to: "It's your fault."
Allow's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my middle, simply she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I just have and so much unspecified love to requite," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "Only baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my centre exist enough?" And she'southward similar, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole firm, fed the dog, did the dishes, and fabricated both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to practise is take out the trash." And yous're like, "You're bumming me out. I'thousand gonna go play guitar." And and then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change yous? UGH!
You could have done improve, but I don't mind
Yeah. You do mind! You mind! You wrote a vocal almost it, you passive-ambitious prick.
Yous just kinda wasted my precious fourth dimension
Ah yes. Your time is and so precious! Retrieve nigh all the hours yous wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of homo partnership when you could have been futzing around with that dwelling house-mash kit.
Yeah, this was worth information technology. Photo by Bill Bradford/Flickr.
The infinitesimal y'all start breaking it down, the message of "Don't Call back Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt's current of air chime shop, which would have airtight forever agone had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Similar your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"Yous kids want a beer? No i's under thirteen, right?" Photograph via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving equally:
A child, I'grand told
That's right. In addition to being a run-of-the-factory passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.
Fifty-fifty if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which in that location's no indication information technology is, just OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an young partner reflects way more than poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive fashion is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the point.
4. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bloodshot folk song nigh hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per 60 minutes?
This guy. Photo past Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Eatables.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Airplane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were all the same kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet airplane
To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a fashion that'south somehow notwithstanding folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-yr-olds at summer camp. Not easy to exercise!
Oh babe, I hate to become
You run into — he hates to go! He simply hates it! We know this, because he tells united states of america he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't dearest his partner just that much?
Encounter ya! Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the vocal's main graphic symbol is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't really seem similar he hates beingness abroad all that much:
There'due south and so many times I've let y'all downward
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were domicile nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sexual activity I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to practise! Actually fun. Similar, I had a fantastic time. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"As empty every bit this bed I merely finished having sex with someone else in." Photograph via iStock.
Aye, when you break information technology down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all prove to the reverse.
And for all he claims to exist broken up virtually having to part from his i and just, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet aeroplane, are yous? Are yous Zone i? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad you were forced to asphyxiate downwards equally yous sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious adventure?
"Life then difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photo by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Eatables.
He continues:
Ev'ry place I go, I'll call back of you
Ev'ry vocal I sing, I'll sing for you
Ah absurd. He'll remember about her while strumming and making "my dear is delicate every bit the morn dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for information technology all.
So he demands:
So kiss me and smiling for me
Tell me that you'll await for me
Afterwards all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to exist a grade-A sleaze who tin can't exist trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?
And here'southward the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on information technology. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he'due south cheated a billion times, drained the family bank account, and just been a general screwup and thwarting.
But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks dorsum.
5. "When a Human Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When yous look upwardly "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photograph by Gene Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, it plays you the very first line.
Here's why it sound very romantic:
When a human loves a woman
Certain, you can write the lyrics downward, but it doesn't fifty-fifty come up close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The succulent, delicious pain-belting:
WHEN A MAN LOVES A Woman
Closer ... only still no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yep! Sing it, Percy Sledge!
It's an elemental lyric.
It's a center-shattering lyric.
Information technology's a lyric that demands you put your back into it.
It'due south perfection.
As long as you don't keep listening.
Here's why the vocal is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Human Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a human being loves a adult female.
Which raises the question: What happens when said homo loves said woman?
He'd surrender all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to exist.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Turn his dorsum on his best friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A homo tin can't put upward with that kind of isolating beliefs. A man needs friends! Once a man's whole back up organisation erodes out from under him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and solitary. And a human being's mental health will deteriorate.
I gave you everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Infant, please don't care for me bad.
This is non what happens "when a man loves a woman." Information technology's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative adult female. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.
"It's Chris or me." Photograph by geralt/Pixabay.
And that's non healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you.
(Side annotation: Lest it go implied, there is fashion more than than ane way for a man to love a adult female. Peradventure they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Maybe they sleep in carve up bedrooms. Mayhap they apparel upward in big, plush true cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a homo, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a adult female. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of commitment, living state of affairs, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no i-size-fits-all dear solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Multifariousness is the spice of life. Necessity is the female parent of invention. In that location's more than one way to peel a cat. A spoonful of saccharide helps the medicine become downwardly.
It doesn't matter if it's the right metaphor, as long as it's a metaphor. Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek assist! You can do this! And if you always find yourself in a like state of affairs, please give these people a call.
vi. "All I Wanna Do is Make Honey to Y'all," Heart
Honestly, Heart could sing a list of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie'due south Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/Earth's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and information technology would make me want to bawl my optics out in the arms of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.
This vocal is perfect. Yous should always be listening to information technology. If you're non listening to it now, smack yourself in the confront and Google information technology. It'due south only that of import.
I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
So much passion. So much pain. So much hair.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a central tribute to the one truthful romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking upward an unnervingly attractive man for 1 night of mind-blowing sex so releasing him back into the wild to bone — just never quite as compellingly always again.
They sing:
Information technology was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
And so I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile and then we collection for a while
I don't have to keep because you know what happens next, and information technology's awesome.
"I just sit in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
Now, hither's why this song is not romantic at all:
The human relationship in "All I Wanna Practise" seems too good to be true. And it is. Because it'south not an every bit loving ,or even as brawny, pairing at all.
It'south a...
It'due south a...
Well. You know what it is:
Good at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:
I didn't ask him his name, this lone boy in the pelting
Fate, tell me it's correct, is this love at kickoff sight?
Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick upward a strange leather-jacket-clad homo standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-fastened screw, but our narrator merely has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you lot gotta go with your gut.
I can respect that.
We made magic that night
He did everything right
Cracking! Seems like it was a skillful decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.
Merely then, without warning, the song starts to audio less like an all-time slap-up romance and more than like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:
I told him "I am the flower, y'all are the seed
We walked in the garden, nosotros planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't yous dare
Just alive in my memory, yous'll e'er be there"
I'm non a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. Only unless "bloom," "seed," "garden," and "tree," all of a sudden mean wildly dissimilar things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sexual practice was get-go invented in the early on-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
How-do-you-do! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.
Of form, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to recall, "Peradventure Middle meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant information technology:
Then it happened i 24-hour interval
We came round the same way
You tin imagine his surprise
When he saw his own eyes
There are 2 possibilities here.
Ane: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway advertising from nine years ago:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, certain. Yep. No worries.
I'yard in love with some other homo
Absurd, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not 1 but two lives.
And what he couldn't give me, oh, no
Was the one little thing that you tin can"
A Human being LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS Non INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The best you can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his ain birth control. Or, at the very to the lowest degree, asked more than questions .
But ... it'due south not cute. Information technology'south not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves concur).
And at the end of the mean solar day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the nighttime.
Which... is saying something.
But there is a dear vocal that is truly, madly, securely perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.
A song that does everything right.
A vocal that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to concluding.
A song that tin can double as a manual for the ideal man romantic relationship.
And that song is...
"Candy Shop," past 50 Cent, featuring Olivia
Hither's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
50 Cent (Fifty) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
As tricky as "Candy Store" is, equally fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it tin be to scream in the heart of a crowded fraternity business firm at 2 a.yard., there's no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:
I'll accept you to the candy shop
I'll permit you lick the lollipop
I'll post that again, in instance you lot missed some of the nuance:
I'll have you lot to the candy store
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Style to take one for the squad, narrator of "Candy Store"!
At start glance, "Candy Store" is nobody's idea of a classic love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The shell is kinda bones. The claw is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Burn" on your new Xbox 360.
It'southward non a song you'd put on a mixtape for your vanquish. It'southward not a song you lot'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you lot've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song y'all'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.
It'south just non.
Just it should be.
And so hither it is. Here's why "Processed Shop" by fifty Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:
Yous wanna back that thing up or should I push upwardly on it? Photo by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass pulsate hits. The MIDI violins whine. The vocalist starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang it up with "Candy Shop."
But then ... over the foursquare thrum and the mewling strings, a phenomenon occurs — in the grade of a female voice joining the track, cut through the din like a clarion call.
She sings:
I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy, one gustatory modality of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll accept you spendin' all you got (come on)
Keep going 'til y'all hit the spot, whoa
It's mutual! It'due south common! They're performing oral sex on each other!
Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, become! Photo by liz w/Flickr.
fifty Cent himself may not be the world's greatest partner — for example, according to one of his exes, he's washed some pretty unforgivable things.
Simply the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets information technology:
You could accept information technology your way, how do y'all desire information technology?
Rather than merely imposing his desires on the person he'due south with — a la the dude in "God Merely Knows ("I'chiliad going to invest my entire sense of cocky-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'g going to treat y'all like a chest full of aureate doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Dear to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me upward!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the earth of pop music, is skillful for nigh 50,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to practise it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?
It's whatever y'all're into
'Cause consent is sexy!
I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly ... assertive well-nigh his desires.
Simply here's the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so.
The lines of consent in "Processed Store" are brilliant crimson, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly pasty club floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is exterior trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what we do ...
And where we do ...
The things we practise ...
Are just between me and you lot
No affair how nasty they freak, information technology volition be intimate. It will be individual. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of whatsoever relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very perchance in the instance of "Candy Shop") minutes long.
She may have a high sex drive, simply dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids only might go the altitude after all.
And at the end of the day, what is a relationship merely 2 nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thank you, Obamacare! Photo by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It'due south like information technology's a race who could get undressed quicker
Again, everybody is having a neat fourth dimension. And, critically, an equally great fourth dimension.
I affect the right spot at the correct time
Of form, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, only if we're to have him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least as proficient at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Practise is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Processed Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering dearest god. He's a good partner.
"Processed Shop" is raunchy. It'southward dingy. It's not your grandmother'southward love song.
But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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